I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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