I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
