you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
