You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
