he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
