I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
