i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
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