I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
