So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
