Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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