if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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