oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
