Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
