he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
