we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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