Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
we're chasing vodka with high fives
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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