Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
