Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I believe in your delicious
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
