There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
tell me about the fingering
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
