if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Randomize
