I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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