Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
