I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
