I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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