i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
