soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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