Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
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