Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
