you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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