i just google imaged poop.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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