So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Less talking, more tequila
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
