alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
