Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize