hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
