There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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