I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize