Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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