the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
