i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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