Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
