You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
