thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
