literally had 100 drinks last night.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
It's official drugs can't kill me
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize