2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I could make wine with my vomit
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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