I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
