1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
