Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
