would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
