im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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