sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
