So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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