Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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