We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
