your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
