Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
