We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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