Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
