my room smells like sperm. sweet.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
