So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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