He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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