I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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