I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Randomize
