i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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