fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
