I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
